Mountains are inherently beautiful. I think that’s what draws people to them. Something about the high peaks, rocky pinnacles, and dizzyingly steep slopes plays on our fascination with power and majesty. What could be more majestic?
Mountains cannot be conquered. You can climb them, glide down them, and even blast a hole in them but the mountain remains. Even if you could blow one to smithereens using some sort of explosive the dust from the mountain would still be floating in the air. A haunting remnant of the giant you dared to challenge.
What makes mountains all the more appealing to humankind is their yin-yang quality. They are towering monsters but in the midst of them you find the deepest valleys. Even though they are dauntingly dangerous and people die every year either from avalanches or falling while trying to attain the summit, mountains offer shelter and security from whipping winds and exposure. The snow above the tree line that lingers well into the warm months of summer is sharply contrasted with the stunningly green shrubbery that graces the lower elevations. Yin and yang. Black and white. The perfect blending of opposites.
I think the word I would apply most readily to mountains is perfection. Not because mountains in themselves are always pleasant and enjoyable, I’ve spent enough time shivering on a ski lift to know that’s not true, but because everything mountains represent makes them perfect. They represent balance and power. They represent humility and knowing your limits. They represent beauty and splendor. They symbolize simplicity and naturalness. They are the exemplification of everything that we try to achieve by artificial means.
There are figurative mountains as well. The uphill battles in our lives. The summits of our success. The times when things seem to go downhill. Those mountains are what make life beautiful and give it meaning. The battle, the peak, the climb, the fall, all come together to make our lives worth living. Is there anything more beautiful?
It’s raining. The sky is dark and the area surrounding me deserted. There are no buildings, no trees. The grass is short. I’m in a tank top and army shorts, both completely soaked through. My hair is pulled back and drenched. Water streams down my face, arms, and legs. I’m running, running as hard and fast as I can- like my life depends on it. Shots fire from guns whose triggers are pulled by unknown assailants. I keep running. Suddenly there are people on all sides of me, standing in my way, blocking my path. I push them aside, never slowing down. More rain. More shots. More people. More urgency in my quest. And I just keep running.
That’s the scene that’s been running through my mind in my day dreams and at night in my slumber. Always the same- rain, a field, and me, doing my best to get to a destination that I never reach. I’ve seen it so many times in this past week that now it’s like a familiar movie and that’s my favorite scene. Sometimes I’ll just be talking to someone and suddenly I’m in that moment running. In all honesty, I could do without it. My life has been so busy lately. It seems like with Girls’ State, Boys’ State, National SADD, work, and now my impending D.C. trip, I haven’t had a break since school got out. And with so much chaos in my waking hours I wish I could get some relaxation in my sleep. Not the case though because even when I close my eyes I’m still running. Frankly, I’m sick of it.
I’ve heard your subconscious sometimes tries to communicate to you through your dreams. So maybe that’s why I’m suffering from this recurring fiction? It must be. I think this running is symbolic of the way I feel in my life right now. See, I’ve just been going and going. And going and going. I just keep pushing. I push in SADD for a stronger system and we hash out the details of new programs and plans. I push in Rainbow and we come up with membership committees and growth tool kits. And I push for a more successful life and for a better existence. But I don’t really know what the ultimate objective is. If we start a western SADD office there’s still South Dakota to strengthen. And if we increase membership in Rainbow we can always increase it more and go farther and achieve more. And thus I’ve become trapped in the vicious cycle of self-improvement.
My SADD adviser told my I don’t pace well. “I don’t want you to burn out, Carrie.” That’s what she told me. I should have listened because now I”m dangerously frazzled. The problem is I don’t know how to become rejuvenated. I don’t know how to become revived from the weariness from life. I don’t know how to set the pace.
I’ve been struggling with motivation this week. I think I’ve already mentioned that, but hey, it’s what’s on my mind. After some deep thinking I think my lack of motivation is stemming from those dang winter blues, something that I’ve always been strongly affected by. And even though it isn’t winter, it’s a winter in my life. A time when things are going slow, school is going long, and I’m ready to move on. Same old same old.
The strange thing is, on these days when I lack the motivation to excersize I have have the motivation to work out my kitchen skills.
These are pre-cooked, zero-calorie noodles, but I boiled them in water with a little chicken base anyways
I was pretty aprehensive about the flavor of these noodles. They had a pretty strong odor to them and stuff, but they turned out decent. Bland and not completely satisfying, but decent.
I feel like after almost three and a half weeks of running and working I don’t really feel like I’ve improved greatly. My cravings have been making me eat more than I’d like (mainly two extra bowls of cereal, some PB, and tons o’ grapes- why do female hormones always seem to do that?) and my calves are still suffering inexplicable fatigue. I hate it. But I’m not stopping. In order to pump myself up and what not I made something new for dinner.
Eggs and greens on flat bread with grapes on the side.
This is great not only because it’s delicious (what can I say, I’m a simpleton) but because it’s one of those excellent “this could be any meal of the day” factor. I love dinners that are really breakfasts and breakfasts that are really dinners … just kidding. That only goes one way. But still.
I think every training plan must hit this wall. Actually I hope they do, because that let’s me feel better about myself. Yes. I am selfish. I know. But in all seriousness. I’m just going to grit my teeth and preserve. Again and again. And if I gain a bit, tomorrow I’ll work harder to lose. If my legs are tired I’ll focus on more efficient fuel. And eventually it will all get better. Amen.
So, today I went snooping for some more races to run, because, let’s face it, May is practically here and I’m going to need some more things on my plate to stay motivated. I’ve decided I should also get involved with a few more short races before marathon day comes because, well, I want to.
For those of you who don’t know, Sherry was out running in Williston, ND when she went missing. The scary part, I was there, I almost went running. It could have been anyone. Unfortunately, it was Sherry. I ask all of you to also print a bib and run to support her family.
After May 19 I also have plans to run the Kroll’s Marathon here in Bismarck, which should be really fun.
I also plan to do some alternative style racing, just for kicks.
But the big question I’m currently wrestling with is, how can I run an Ironman Triatholon? Because, trust me, I’m going to do it.
So, last night on my (delayed) long run (I had to work at 9 on Saturday, running was not happening) I experienced unexpected exhaustion in my calves. This was totally out of left field for me as I’ve never experienced those kinds of problems before, usually if anything is tired, it’s my quads. After working my way through the scientific method I’ve come out with away to figure out the cause. I think this new soreness is from my new use of a treadmill for training. I don’t know. So, I’m going to run my Wednesday run outside and I’m going to start doing some calf exercises to keep them strong.
In other news, I went to a few movies this past week and I wanted to give my thoughts on them, you know, review them.
I would like to start out this post by saying that quite frankly, I love my mom.
A ton of grapes all pulled from the stem because my mom know I hate doing that
I had to be at an event at a whopping 7 AM this morning, and dressed up too for goodness sake. I’m telling you, that’s simply inhumane on a Sunday.
My face at 6:45 AM
Luckily they fed us one of my favorite breakfasts, muffins and coffee. YUM.
Pretty sure my dishes were dishwasher clean in a matter of seconds. At 7 in the morning I just inhale food.
When I got home I took a shower and shaved my legs and that kind of garbage because, let’s be real, at the crack of dawn on a Sunday that was simply NOT happening. Then for lunch I tried something a little different.
I know this looks the same as a lot of what I eat does, but I made these cinnamon apple oats using soy milk, and they were MARVELOUS. Also, I finally mastered the art of adding PB. It turns out that you can't let it melt into everything, it has to be gloppy. And trust me, gloppy is so, so good!
So, now that I’ve been up for, like, an entire day and a half, it’s time for a nice run and trip to the Y.
Today I have perhaps the best day ever on my agenda.
Let’s start off with the fact that I had this for breakfast.
Oats, a dash of soy milk, a banana and fresh strawberries. Ignore the nasty bowl, we had a bit of an oats overflow incident this morning.
These pictures really can not do justice to the sensation of amazing flavor this unleashed on my tongue.
Then add on the fact that today is my long run day. SO. PUMPED. Technically it’s a short long run, only five miles before next week’s longer nine mile jaunt. I’m taking a route I haven’t run for awhile though, so that should be exciting and I’m running outside. Yum.
Last but not least, my momma is taking me to see One for the Money. That makes it my second movie in the weekend (last night I went to see The Woman in Black, super scary! at least for a pansy like me)! I have a feeling this is going to be a good, good day
Yes. I am in AP English, and as we look at the “meaning of the work as a whole” we’ve been talking a lot about the different rhetorical devices utilized by authors to make their works impactful. Enter the antithesis.
Case in point- I have been running more than ever before, I have been eating more than ever before. Can you say frustrating? I mean, I thought I would be shedding the pounds as easily as the miles passed. Not.So.
I suppose it’s not too awful, because I feel strong and ready to run, but I also still feel like my former chunky monkey. Gross. What’s been the cause?